Coffee Morning Question Time

Do we ever truly understand who we are?

What do you think? Can we really truly deeply understand who we are and is it important?

We change all the time – we can see ourselves to a degree only or?

Let me know your thoughts below in the comments or create a post of your own and ask your readers as well – please include a ping back to this post so l don’t miss your responses.


Coffee Cup – Free photo on Pixabay

The Country Life Style Diary

Published by The Autistic Composter

Howdy Folks, Earthly Comforts is a broad niche wildlife journaling scrapbook focusing on the countryside, wildlife biodiversity and environmental conservation, flora and fauna volunteering projects, gardening, composting and vermiculture, also known as ‘worm farming and photography too.

14 thoughts on “Coffee Morning Question Time

  1. There are things about myself that have never changed, and I hope they never do. My empathy, generosity, kindness and my belief that the two greatest wrongs a person can do to me is lying or stealing.

    There are other things that have changed completel, and I hope to keep learning and growing.

    I think I know myself pretty well. There may be small discoveries in the future but I don’t think there will be any dramatic discoveries. I’ve been through two complete “deconstructions” as I call them, and learned a LOT as I rebuilt myself.

    Then finding and maintaining my Zen through the past several years has only reinforced my understanding of who I am.

    Great question JB! Maybe I should’ve had more than a few sips of my coffee before answering. My brain isn’t quite at optimum level. But it rarely is these days, eh?🤪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well GMa, l think even without healthy coffee intake, you have answered this question remarkably well and l tend to agree with these statements of yours in so far as how l have observed you over the last few years 🙂


  2. If you want to, yes, you can know and understand yourself. Part of that is when you think you know yourself and then you surprise yourself. I also believe (and from experience) that the older you get (and by older I do mean OLDER – like my age, 75) that you revert to your essential self. If you recognize that, it can be quite surprising, and delightful, and certainly food for even more thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Grace, l think that the age is a very valid point. I think we get to a point where we are happy to be happy with who we are, as in the essentials of our personality and not worrying about how others perceive us to be or think. Good responses 🙂


  3. A great question indeed, Rory! I find myself bouncing back and forth between yes and no. 😁
    I wonder, can we ever truly know ourselves, for we are a work in progress? And then, I remember an early lesson that went something like, “We can only know ourselves through what we see in others.”, does that mean we cannot truly recognize our own behavior unless we project it onto others to reflect back to us? 😊 Is it like the chicken and the egg – which came first?

    What do I think? After 83 years, and at least 50 of them spent in real in-depth soul searching, I still don’t understand why I do some of the things I do. I found I could drive myself nuts just trying to, so I quit and have learned to just let myself be me. Now that was a big Job! 😊 I tried so hard to be what everyone else expected of me that I lost site of who I was. That never occurred to me until I was in my 70’s. And one day I woke up and realized no matter how hard you try to be what someone else wants you to be, they will never be satisfied. When you become what they want they will change their minds and expect something else. So, I said that is that, I’m not doing this anymore and I didn’t. It took some time for my family to adjust to the new me. 😊 And for me to adjust as well!

    Yes, I conclude, I understand that as a human being, I’m a work in progress, constantly in flux, hopefully learning how to be a good human. As an eternal Soul, I AM gathering information through experience as a human and proceeding according to plan. That gives me the foundation I need to continue along as I AM – whatever that is. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Betty, a thoroughly well thought answer .

      Like you l have flitted between understanding and straight out confusion as to who l am. When l was younger if never bothered me, as l have aged, we tend to ask ourselves deep questions regarding not just us but our lives and our roles within it. Does being who we are reflect upon our life?

      I think ultimately as you say here ..

      Yes, I conclude, I understand that as a human being, I’m a work in progress, constantly in flux, hopefully learning how to be a good human. As an eternal Soul, I AM gathering information through experience as a human and proceeding according to plan. That gives me the foundation I need to continue along as I AM – whatever that is.

      ……… is spot on.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Speaking only for myself here. There are some traits about me, some likes/dislikes, that feel everlasting, part of the definition of “me,” if there is such a thing (not sure). But other things, such as goals and dreams, seem variable. I do understand myself better now than I did while I was married and/or dating. I think it is difficult to truly know yourself when your life is entangled with someone else’s or when you’re focused on other people during your waking hours, even children. How can you “know yourself” when you’re tending to others’ needs all day long? I’m sure many would disagree, but I simply need time to reflect and daydream. The past 5 years while I’ve been outside of all romantic relationships have been very enlightening for me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Paula, l think you are spot on when you talk about knowing and understanding ourselves better when we are not involved with someone else. I agree wholeheartedly with that. When we compromise for others we are also compromising parts of our own personality and individuality too. I have found that whilst for instance Suze lives with me and we share the house we do so as friends only and so this also encourages us to not lose sight of who we are as ourselves.

      I asked of her yesterday if people truly wanted to have children or did they feel compelled to do under the guise of normalcy? Not me being harsh, but when you are a mother – again this is a role that a person takes on board and they then also choose to forfeit certain elements of them for their children, for their husbands/partners/significant others as well as for the family, but they don’t often see who they are.

      Like a good red wine, it’ only gets better with age 🙂

      Great response.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Rory. It’s good to see you posting again and I love the themed look of your new place. I enjoyed bringing up my daughters, but I’m also glad they’re grown now and have their own lives 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey Paula, thanks 🙂 This is the first ‘official publishing week’. The blog went live on the 7th and although l had been publishing, it was during the build and there were many tweaks to see what worked and what didn’t. There is still tweaking to be done, but they are minimal now.

        Of course, many mothers enjoyed the time they spent with their children, but equally enjoy the freedom they now have. Suze at times struggles to know what to do with her free time, but she is slowly getting there.

        Liked by 1 person

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