|The Sixth day of the week|
|Main image – Deep Thoughts and Reflective Moments|
|Chinese trumpet-creeper St Clements Churchyard|
|Music Score – Deep Thoughts – Morning Light Music|
|Common Passion Flower|
|It’s been a crazy week,|
…. and still, it’s only just Friday!
All l want to do is shriek!
Yell and shout, ‘just go away!’
Leave me be,
… Let me alone,
Don’t be so mean,
Find another home!
…. but it’s only just Friday,
The sixth day of the week.
|This week has been somewhat annoying. It’s ONLY Friday. There is still Saturday to go.|
The blog is just coming to the end of its second ‘live week’. I gave myself four working weeks to fiddle with it being live before l opted to get all technical with it and start cranking out SEO and the such; l wanted to iron out any crinkles and creases first. So far, l am happy with things. Well, as far as the blog goes, anyway. But l am in control of the blog and that makes a big difference.
Lots of things l can’t control, like waiting for the allotment and any news on that, or waiting to hear properly about the potentiality of a warden’s job, BUT that is worthy of an entire blog post of its own!
Now l have to wait on the efficiency and speed of the National Health Service, and l have been told [by me] not to give all of this any undue thought and stress me out. But Murphy might have other plans for my life again. What’s new? The frustration is that l don’t have time for this!
I have gotten used to a certain level of pain and discomfort for so many months now, and by that, l mean l guess since late 2020, October time. The strange chest pains began then. I thought l was out of shape, so I started to increase my walking and exercising, and l stopped living a sedentary lifestyle – not that l ever did, but my life today is non-stop whereas before it wasn’t on ALL GO like now.
Suze’s cancer in 2020-2022 gave me a wake-up call – THERE is no guarantee with life! But we know this. If we don’t, we are being naive. So l decided to achieve as much as l could, have less time doing nothing and become more active.
Last year l WAS just that – active, and all of this year, l have also been active.
I opted to become more ‘real’, be the realist or pragmatist. I had thought of being the uber-positive one – l am optimistic, but l realised and understood that being a pragmatist was more positive anyway. Be a rationalist or even a relativist. Yes, that is the philosophy l want.
All this year, l have been 80% pragmatic about life and 20% motivated by my positivity. It’s easier to be a realist, true dogmatist, or thinker. I have always been that.
In the last 24 hours alone, l have been thinking about my positivity versus my pragmatism and which one l will decide to use to get me through the coming weeks.
I mean, with a life with no guarantee, none of us know what is around the proverbial corner. We must turn the corner to find out if we will continue walking or fall into a giant hole.
We as people need to know that the worst thing about knowing is unknowing and not knowing and waiting to know. I am currently in the early days of waiting to know. I don’t know much at present, but l know that my positivity will take a back seat, and my pragmatism will start ruling the days ahead.
The doctor’s appointment yesterday went well in so far as finally meeting a doctor who listened to me and was very alarmed at what l said. “You are such a pragmatist,” she said. “Were it not for the pandemic, would you have rung for an ambulance following these attacks?”
I answered honestly, “I don’t know, maybe not. I tend only to bother the medical industry when l am ill or have a leg dropping off. I don’t like to waste people’s time.”
“You mustn’t think like that, l feel you might be ill, and because l am worried about some of your described symptoms and what l can see from my examination, l am going to fast track you, get this looked into fast. It’s precautionary only, but we have to check for cancer. Your oesophagus is the only thing that hasn’t recently been investigated, and we need to examine that. It might just be an oesophagal ulcer or something nasty along those lines and not cancer, so bloods tomorrow, and you should hear from the hospital very soon.”
Suze thought l was being blase about the fast-tracking and my lack of concern. It wasn’t that – l hadn’t twigged that fast-tracking was ONLY associated with cancer testing; l thought it meant they would get me in faster for a potential ulcer treatment plan and l wouldn’t be waiting months.
But this morning, on the way back from giving blood, l asked me how l would be if it were something other than an ulcer. Well, l guess the pragmatist would take over from the optimist, and l would cross every bridge one step at a time.
Life is as it is, there are no guarantees to anything. Although you can’t help but become a little subdued by it all especially given how so very unwell l have been in the last month alone …
|This morning’ walk.|
|This post may contain affiliate links, please read the Disclaimer for more info.|
|Thanks for reading.|