Nature Diary

It’s Not Who or Even What. It’s Your Game Face!
Anyone for squash?
Main Image – Trumpet Creepers

This Black Faced Sheep knows exactly how l feel with regards to … everything!

Music Score –Stay Positive – Morning Light Music
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Designs – Earthly Comforts – Inspired by Nature – see collection here

It’s not a case of who you know, although that still counts, and it’s not just a case of what you know because whilst that is important, who you always know trumps that, but l am fast becoming more acquainted with the term it’s how you play your actual game.

I think l am too honest as a person; l live a life played in black and white, and l don’t often dance in the greyer areas. It’s not that l haven’t learned a trick or two regarding fifty shades of the stuff over the years. It’s more along the lines of l prefer the black and white. Because it is more direct, l think fundamentally. It is more upfront and honest.

But honesty doesn’t always pay. Being Mr Nice makes you look like a prize lemon.
I have learned not always to trust people or systems or protocols, but l have also known that you must try to balance that cynicism and mellow a bit. Not everyone is out to get you … not always – anyways.

Life is a game, and to survive the upheavals and obstacles, you must adopt a great strategy that will carry not just the ball over the line or pump up a touchdown but you as well. All of you need to play the tactics and not just parts of you.

I have become a little frustrated at things of late. Life, or Murphy, has been throwing me some curve balls to test or warn me; who knows? Not even curve balls as they would be easy, no – more like steaming piles of cow splat.

Three things which have been genuinely oiking my gourd to frustration have been certain situations in Gazen Salts, Allotments and Doctors. There are a few others, but my stress has significantly occupied these three topics.

Gazen Salts l will discuss maybe, perhaps at another time. The doctors l will briefly connect with now. I went for my endoscopy and was relieved to hear no cancer, but the doctor also told me we would work together as a team to find the problem in my digestion.

Great l thought, finally. You may recall how l also discovered from the Canterbury triage nurse ringing me up and preparing me for my endoscopy that in 2008 l was diagnosed with two significant medical issues. But no one bothered to tell me at the time as it would have helped, and maybe knowing l needed medication would have meant that fourteen years later, in 2022, my diet wouldn’t be so ridiculously reduced, and l would be experiencing chronic daily pain.

However, until l see an actual doctor, nothing can be confirmed, and l can’t just start medications without an up-to-date medical authority approving the diagnoses.

But now l need to wait for a telephone call with my doctor on 20th September, which is my next appointment. Hardly speedy and hardly encouraging. So l am still in limbo. I had another one of the chest attacks last night, which lasted for 45 minutes and what is frightening about that is it wasn’t six weeks apart from the last one. The last attack was on 26th July, so 35 days ago. But l only just recovered from the previous episode on Sunday just gone.

It seems that despite being told by the local doctor that we would work together to discover my thirty-year problem and being fast-tracked for cancer, upon finding out that l am not dying. Despite the endoscopy, the department strongly suggesting an ultrasound; l have now been dumped to the bottom of the pile again, irrelevant to the fact that l have been experiencing stomach, chest and digestive problems for 30 plus days.

I find this situation somewhat vexing. So now l have had to start pushing the medical practice for answers and not waiting around, especially since l think that in 2008, there was negligence at play, considering l wasn’t officially awarded two critical diagnoses. Another day, another time, and yet another game must be played here.

Another vexing issue is the red tape political game of being awarded an allotment. I first mentioned allotments back in July. Around a month ago, Suze and l visited the location intending to take on board a plot. Several were available at the time, and many were becoming scruffy and unattended to by the renters.

It wouldn’t take long, we were told. They had to write to the renters to see if they still wanted the old plots, and whilst l was patient because that is understandable, l still had this niggling in my head telling me that something wasn’t right.

It turns out that the left-hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, even though l visited the allotment site several times, introduced myself to the working group, and told them l was after a medium-sized plot.

That Suze and l were used to gardening, we knew the hardships blah blah, they still didn’t like the idea of new blood coming into their domain, and so the committee members weren’t honest with the council handling the administration with regards empty plots. They then got hold of all the dormant plotters and told them to update their rents, tidy up their plots and not let newcomers in.

They will only let us take a plot they choose acceptable to be taken by newcomers until we ‘prove our abilities to them. So we can either wait till the bloody cows come home from Pluto, or an old plotter dies before we get a medium-sized plot space, or we have to take on a smaller allotment so they can see if we are worthy!

The only so-called small plot available is next to the strutting boasting peacock everyone hates, and either Suze or I may end up bludgeoning him to death with a fence stake as well. This means that we 1] take the small plot first and wait X period before we are deemed acceptable, or 2] we stay in the interim space of never for another field to come up.

This also vexes me immensely. Everything has to be placed into a hold position till we have proved to the working group that we are true plotters.

Designs – Earthly Comforts – Inspired by Nature – see collection here

I didn’t think storylines like The Village still went on, however once more l have been proved wrong – no problem, you just have to learn to play the game,
so on that note … anyone for squash?
Thanks for reading, catch you next time.

Earthen Tales Directory

Published by The Autistic Composter

Earthly Comforts is a wildlife journaling scrapbook focusing on the countryside, wildlife biodiversity and environmental conservation, flora and fauna volunteering projects, gardening, composting and vermiculture, inspiration, poetry and photography.

23 thoughts on “Nature Diary

  1. Honestly, this is why I don’t pursue medical treatment for my issues (not to mention the cost). I go for the required physicals in order to get my migraine meds renewed and that’s it. I know it would be an exercise in frustration and futility to try to solve my back pain, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve watched enough British tv shows over the years to understand completely the whole allotment “problem” – I think entire tv series have been devoted to such shenanigans. (Also the occasional dead body…)

    While I hate doctors I can’t complain about the medical services I have available to me – in most cases they are overzealous! I know, I’m lucky – I have fabulous health insurance and live not 2 miles from a highly rated medical center along with every conceivable doctor and specialist who are affiliated with said medical center.

    The chest attacks are very worrisome. I think, tho you hate the idea, the next time you have one a 999 call is in order – that always makes them sit-up and pay attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Grace, l would except the biggest issue with calling for an ambulance is 1] the duration it can take getting to you. The wait time on ambulances in Kent is now at around 3 hours and more importantly 2] the wait time when you get to the hospital. Ambulances in some Kent hospitals are standing outside casuality units for up to 8 hours.

      I kid you not, it is getting so bad, the news are not covering the stories anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Holy Carp! That’s outrageous. Where I live, call 911 and report chest pains/problem breathing and the EMTs will be there by the time you hang up the phone. (EMTs are attached to Fire Departments not hospitals.) The only thing that takes precedence over chest pains at the ER is gushing blood. I have personal reasons to know this.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sadly not the case over here. Only this week. Suze’s daughter [who lives in Australia] heard that her grandmother suffered a suspected heart attack and so her son called an ambulance. They arrived 95 minutes later and diagnosed a stroke. Said thatt she needed to be in a hospital, but the wait time for Canterbury casuality was currently 10 hours and so they would do the best they could but suggested that the son called the doctor’s surgey the next day and asked for a reference to get his mother into hospital. He did so the next day only to get screamed at for ignorance by the receptionists and should have insisted the ambulance crew took his mother and waited outside the hospitals.

        Yes, the system is breaking here.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Though I like squash, I don’t think you’re offering it as a treat. Now I know where we got our red tape mentality; From our former rulers and masters. But seriously this is too frustrating both on the medical issues and the allotment one. Hope they find your problem soon and sort it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hmm 🤔 well medically … if you in pain or having bad problems – then yes call. They need to understand and know about the severity.

    I’m sure the doctor has an answering service after hours? If you don’t have ambulance and isn’t that urgent – call the office line to report

    They could page Dr or call in RX to help? There is at least record of issue?

    Or call in day and request a call from doctor – you will have to tell them you having issues

    ** Also … just like anything – you have to find one you like and trust too…

    Not every doctor is good one. Sorry but true. They need to know you – get a good one or try to.

    They have medical research sites where you can look doctors up and get their stats lol – how good they are

    Hopefully they help you soon 🙏 I’m glad you don’t have cancer ❤️ thank god – that is a blessing for you … be thankful for that part for sure!! I am 😊👏

    And as for the allotment –

    Well couple things… at my job – it’s really tough work… people will come in thinking is something else – they have preconceptions and dreams of what they think is. It is not that – we only make it look and appear easy!! It is not – but that is hard to explain…

    It is not a normal average job at all.

    They have to be able to seriously handle and that is not always the case … we careful how we throw in fire, we have to know you can survive it

    So maybe they used to people thinking they can do stuff but can’t, won’t or don’t?

    But also having said that … it sounds like they wanna know who are first.

    If you can handle that guy perhaps that is the test? Lol … if pass that then maybe

    Also don’t speak to the others – just quietly smile and wave 👋 . Don’t give them any form to judge with

    Then I also think – what is meant to be for you will come… if didn’t get then wasn’t meant to be for that ONE.

    There is one that is perfect for you

    Maybe guy not so bad? Perhaps he is gate keeper ?

    What if get in on that one? Get up and running and show them how amazing – is a start

    And then eventually get better and move?

    And be good to start slow while you figure out the medical side?

    It will give you peace to have and you never know who could be amazing even if at first they annoying lol

    So kinda seems like others are judging you like you judged that guy?

    My dad used to fly to the new state we would be moving to, he would go ahead of us, walk around, meet the neighbors 🙄😑 lol

    I did not like people knowing me before I get there.

    It was little weird ? And his way of thinking was that he would see what kind of neighbors would be before we took a house.

    But ya know – that’s like Russian Roulette … you do not know

    Could he be the gate keeper of allotments? Brilliant plan if so

    At work … you meet me first… I have a gift to make someone instantly be at ease and comfortable 😊

    Then I pass off to hardest person lol … if they can pass that test – they meet my boss and that’s the final ok… then they in! We know we have chance they can handle 😮 they have to be on toes. Fast

    Don’t let it get you down – my life was hard and disappointing once … and I get pushed down ALOT … but I keep fighting – I have a fight for life

    Mostly lol … I will get frustrated and then just try harder lol- just be aware of your tactic – yes … you do have to know the game – with anything.

    Not always easy… and gonna be tough, but if keep after – it will happen.

    I believe in you and Suze … I think you can do it!! They would be losing out not to give you one.

    Are there other places ? Maybe you have to find your fit… you just have to find your people – they are there.

    Keep believing 🙏 you got this!!

    Keep calm, and composed, be very short and sweet, don’t say a lot …so if they care to know you they will – don’t draw attention until you in there lol

    You just need chance so hang on – it will come …

    Sometimes there have been moments where I wanted something so bad… but when I did not get … I ended up thankful because would not have been good… so was reason I did not get – and because of that – I am here now ❤️

    Is not always bad

    And life is learning … what guy ends up being your best friend ? Lol

    I also have a friend in my life who I try to push away – I just can’t handle massive things and she has massive things – over my head type things …

    But she persist and is loving caring passionate friend – little crazy lol 🙄 … but ya know – her friendship is solid so alright – I can do that. She was there when I needed someone but didn’t think I did. So you never know.

    Just things to ponder 😘✌️

    I don’t speak it as perfectly as you – but just thoughts ✌️❤️

    I hope you feel better soon 🙏🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Trisha 🙂

      Some of the biggest problems we have with the medical industry happen in this part of England, primarily the southeast, because this area has one of the largest populations, which overruns and overwhelms the national health service.

      This, in turn, makes services very hard to receive. The industry was in dire straits before the pandemic due to poor government funding and has worsened.

      Twenty years ago, you could call out your doctor and have someone arrive on the doorstep in a few hours. That no longer happens. Now the out-of-hours services refer you to call an ambulance.

      But in Kent, we have very few hospitals covering the areas – so down where l am – Sandwich. My local hospital is QEQM, which is the one an ambulance would take me to. But QEQM [Margate] is understaffed and overwhelmed under a constant barrage of population crisis politics.

      So ambulance wait times are at least 3 hours, and ambulance wait times outside emergency wards are between 8-12 hours.

      Also, Kent holds a considerable population of the elderly, so that that % can dominate the importance even for adult chest pains as the aged get priority.

      The doctor l have supposedly is an excellent, caring doctor, but all doctors are now just overwhelmed.

      Wait times between appointments used to be three days back in 2010. In 2022, it can be five weeks.

      You may recall l wrote about him here with the peacock, so it’s not me making a snap judgement on him and being just plain horrible. It was his overall behaviour. After a while, people like that have a way of grinding people down.

      I can handle most people and exercise patience, but l do that because l switch on an Aspie mode – which to many is considered rude behaviour – it’s not, it is just polite – as in l smile, but l don’t speak, l keep busy. Suze doesn’t always have that patience, and if she felt threatened by him, she would start to stop coming down to the allotment.

      I have spoken in depth with her that Plot 44 might be the one we have to cut our teeth on and that if that is the case, we build things along the side of the fence we share with him. Plot 44 is empty more often, and why? Because people find Plot 45’s peacock behaviour very annoying, the man insists on getting in your face. Suze is now questioning whether we need an allotment. So my work could become suddenly more complicated.

      England has long had these strange behaviours in community gardening, which can be a very clicky group of people. I am not into that kind of management – if you run a community allotment, then people should have the rights to the plot they want. They pay for it. If they fail to keep the field, the administrations and the so-called committees’ tasks are easy. They have to manage the attendance properly and not in a familiar fashion. But it is this management that the councils have not been performing correctly since the arrival of the pandemic and a switch in government stances. Sadly community gardening is very political.

      It’s just the way of the world at times. It’s a bit like your advert recently, you have done nothing wrong, yet people attacked – why?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow, I thought our medical was bad – that sounds worse! 😮 you should just come to America then!

        Our wait times are also bad but they will take any emergency! Especially chest pains!

        3 hours for ambulance is ridiculous … over here people would lawyer up!! That would be major lawsuit!

        Who runs that? The government? There ya go.

        But you put into private hands and it’s not much better … medications expensive and appts sometimes have copays and things…

        Money money money

        It’s that almighty dollar again ✌️

        So damned if do and damned if don’t 🤷‍♀️ evidentially

        Lol … you switch on Aspie mode – that strikes me little funny

        I can sometimes zone out if you lose me in conversation, but I don’t do that on purpose. And I can sorta recover and go unnoticed lol ✌️

        Hahaha yes I have heard about English and beautiful lavish gardens 🙌 you kinda known for always having grand gardens …

        So yeah I could see it being hoity toity

        You have royalty & deep history of gardens though …so 🤷‍♀️ comes with territory

        Ahhh what is not political now a days? That’s how ruin the world but whatever

        I don’t do clubs or clicks either. Am also very honest and forth coming …

        That’s ok – but if you really want it, you would have to learn how to play that game then.

        You coming in all new and fresh… sometimes you have to earn it or build it yourself …

        How bad you want it?

        Ok well you know what you up against … you know will be political and play games … you also know there is risk with Mr 45

        And he could very well make Suze not want to go.

        So … what are doable options here for you?

        Oh people are just miserable from the world?? – not heard? have hard life? Life has turmoil sometimes or bad things, bad choices

        And some are just evil – not to mention always – but social media and media fuel that fire ✌️

        Life is hard so ya know – people be people – there are different types in every people

        Could be what they know to be like ? How they raised to think/believe? Or the experiences that bring them to that.

        Sometimes it makes someone feel better about their own-selves or maybe is power trip? Jealousy? Who knows? 🤷‍♀️

        So bottom line what do you want? And what you able to do? What are the ways to realistically get to what you dream of?

        You may have to slowly build self?

        That’s what I have to do always lol ✌️

        Believe in yourself but also be realistic

        So what are the options?

        With 44 Suze may not help so you could risk being on own and with that guy – could you realistically do that? And would you still want to? What do you think you can bite off?

        Also … if you already know is political and uppity … I know you don’t like the game – but it is the game if you want that.

        I know you wish it to not be that way… but that is way currently is.

        People also be frustrated by these worldly things also making them angrier and meaner

        But that doesn’t grant any change… just more division and unhappiness

        So you sir have some decisions to think about

        Pleasure to discuss with you, if you need a sound board lol ✌️😘

        Don’t let it stress you… is ok… you will hear no and have failures – that’s ok…

        Even Einstein had that…. And Henry Ford… many greats

        Is always best to think realistically through the choices and what able to do, or willing to, for that matter lol ✌️

        Liked by 1 person

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