The Often Troubling and Absolute Assumptions of People

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Fascinating Musings
Season 1 – Sunday – 25/12/22

Pushmi-pullyu

The Often Troubling and Absolute Assumptions of People
I had written a much longer post, and then l scrapped it as it was stressing me to write about it.

Over the last few months, l have felt like the pushmi-pullyu as l have been battling several internal behavioural conflicts. One of which is the problem l am experiencing with the complexities of being social, which l shall address in another post next year, looking at some of the changes in my blogging style for 2023. Although in many respects, that is the least of my worries, although both problems are playing havoc with my Aspergers.

I don’t often bring my autism into play in this blog despite the handle of ‘the autistic composter.’ Autism is a way of life; it is just me, and the way l am, and sometimes l find navigating specific issues harder than another person might experience.

Being social is one complication in my life and dealing with ethics is another. I have a profound sense of right and wrong, and occasionally, the very essence of righteousness causes me a lot of stress and angst—something l have been suffering with since September of this year.

However, I am aware that the ethical issue could be knocking my socialness for six, considering that the main problem with these particular ethics is people. I tend not to have issues with people socially or communally in real time. Still, l have struggled with the online presence because of the moral dilemma l am in with a lack of being able to discuss it with anyone professionally.

Trying to find my norm level can be frustrating because it constantly changes, and when something like this happens, it can create a knock-on chain effect on who l am.

I once wrote a few years ago that l am not an introvert and l am not an extravert, and whilst an ambivert is probably closer to my behaviour, l used to joke that l was a selectavert. However, whilst some might counter that with me that THAT is an ambivert, l would counter that again with no. I am an omnivert. For me, it can be the extremes of the vert itself.

The two conflicts are complex and so much so that they have started to affect my mental health and making me physically ill to boot, and so today, on Sunday, l decided that l would stop allowing that to happen and take action. Life is too short at times for unnecessary shit.

The sociality and ‘struggling with’ issues aside, the biggie for me has been the topic of ethics where l volunteer in Gazen Salts Nature reserve. A few incidents since February/March of this year have caused me to look at things very differently because they focus on what l consider species cruelty and political double standards, two moral issues that l have significant problems around.

To reduce my stress, l have opted to leave the reserve next month. However, l will raise these concerns with the committee at the next meeting, but l doubt it will make any difference in proving to me that in cases like this, welfare is not about species but about people’s egos.

Serious actions must be performed to make this shit right. Whether the committee members will see this and take the appropriate action to rectify the problems is anyone’s guess. That will make the difference between me going or staying.

I will find it sad to leave, but l can’t work as a volunteer with this kind of ethical complexity, apathy and complacency on a political level for what is supposed to be an environmental charity looking at the welfare of all the species in conservation.

I am not an overly sensitive tree hugger who hasn’t seen much of life and doesn’t know how things work – but, still, there are limits to what a person will tolerate.

Mine have been reached.

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37 thoughts on “The Often Troubling and Absolute Assumptions of People”

  1. I hear you. We all have limits ~ though sometimes we don’t know what they are until they slide past. WAIT! That was one. And then we must take measures. I had a long term friend of 20ish years with whom I felt very close, despite the fact that we hadn’t met in person. We planned to at some point, then the pandemic hit. After a month of staying home away from people, I felt lonely and so I returned to Facebook, making a new account after two years of being away. Well! I found my friend saying the most HORRIBLE stuff! Sexist, racist, you name it-ist. I tried unfollowing, but I still knew it was there. I no longer felt comfortable chatting with him, knowing the awful stuff he posted. He claimed he was only trolling and didn’t really mean it, but I think that’s a BS excuse for being an a-hole. So I blocked him. Poof! He was gone from my life forever, and it made me really sad, except that I knew he probably didn’t give a sh!t because he clearly preferred “trolling” to caring about my feelings, which helped me not be sad about it ultimately. Sometimes we simply must delete people from our lives. They make their choices, and choices have consequences…

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  2. Fish dying from a sudden freeze is different from fish dying due to pollution and lack of oxygen.

    And the knock on effect of birds and others that may feed on those fish, now have limited resources.

    I totally get the selectivert, but that’s not surprising… I’ve known you a long time and as a bonus, I speak autism 😉

    It is beyond frustrating to see simple solutions, and watch idjit, dishonest or unqualified people do everything EXCEPT the thing that will work🤯🤦🏼‍♀️

    💌💌

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    1. It’s not just the fish – but fish is a considerable issue – two sets of fish have been dumped into Gazen Salts since February – including those dying ones that were on the Ramparts walk last week [which isn’t connected to the reserve]. The fish is appalling and a total lie by the councils to the people of Sandwich.

      There is also the case of someone stomping on a squirrel.

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      2. This is why l am stressed – the original post l wrote discussed this incident but l was becoming so stressed l was starting to feel ill again.

        A squirrel was stomped on by a so called volunteer who laughed about it and said ‘no problem squirrels are vermin just like rats’.

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  3. OMG! No! Just No! I couldn’t be part of a group that tolerates that. I’m upset and I wasn’t even there. I hate it every time I have to use poison for the rats that insist on chewing thru my walls. Actually stomping… 🤯🤯 then laughing 😢 What is wrong with people?

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    1. I know, l have battled this – when l heard who did the stomping l was really effing angry – that man has to go – yet everyone seems afraid of him – and yet there is NO way people in charge couldn’t know he did that because he is still working there.

      I basically started to do the building and stay out of the reserve itself and think on it all and trying to find out answers but then the recent fish thing and l am just a stress mess. i can’t work with this. The anxiety of it all is just destroying me.

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      1. Absolutely! If people are allowing ir, they are complicit. Period. I’m sure there’s probably a law about deliberate cruelty. He should be charged with the crime. But as you say, the “people in charge” haven’t done anything… 😡😤🤬 If that’s how they want to run things, they can do it without you.
        But then the conflict of who will actually care for the wildlife if you leave.
        You absolutely cannot stay if he remains though. No wonder you’re feeling ill. ☹️

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      2. The conservation guys are sound, but l think one doesn’t know and one probably does. What upset me the most was that on the Open Day one of the committee members came to me and the ex warden and told the story – the ex warden agreed that they were just vermin and the committee member sniggered and agreed and l was like WTF??

        I wondered if the kids who were present that day were told the story how they might feel or their parents or the people donating money to the charity?

        It made me look at things very differently – l thought ‘right if l become warden that guy is history!’ But l will never be warden because it is now political and l am anti-political with charity.

        Cruelty is against the law in the UK against animals, but everyone goes hush hush.

        I need to discuss things and feelings with the volunteers and l need to let people know how l feel because l think that if some of the genuine volunteers found out there would be hell.

        But the stress is making me really poorly and l am becoming more withdrawn socially because it is overwhelming me.

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  5. It’s difficult to get things like that off your mind. Definitely raise the issue. If there is an in person meeting, do it there, if there is an email group, do it there. I feel you need to get this out of your head and let everyone involved know (if they don’t already🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️) and by their action or inaction, you’ll know what you have to do.

    Visitors love squirrels. The squirrels and ducks are greater draws to reserves like that than any of the plants or trees.
    I bet one of the UK rags would LOVE a story about a conservation volunteer doing something horrible like that. People feed on all the negative crap. It makes them feel superior 🙄

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    1. Something has to be done. I will raise it with the volunteers first – l know many of them are already upset about the dumping of the fish.

      Carp were dumped in February for a supposed 30 day period whilst they desilted the canals along the Ramparts walk but they were never taken out and so the fish bred 😦

      Carp destroy virtually everything inside a lake and they were one of the biggest problems for the duck clutches this year in Gazen Salts – next to dumped Pike!! – We had no ducklings this year because they were eaten by fish.

      I couldn’t believe that our chairman had allowed the council to dump the fish into our waters especially given we are a supposed conservation zone?

      This caused many problems, but we were not allowed to discuss it – It would never happen again they said … and yet recently when the waters froze the fish started to die, so the council removed the dying fish out of the public eyes and dumped them back in to the Gazen Salts waters! another 100+ fish were dumped and they started to die there in our waters.

      I know, l fished out two enormous carp last Wednesday and had to leave them for the fox, but one of the conservation guys said he had already taken a dozen out and none of them were small.

      Thinking on this and still thinking about the squirrel and my stress has been going through the roof.

      People love the squirrels and the ducks .. and yet these stories – well.

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  7. Wow, Rory! Seems a while back you were concerned about the way things were going at Gazen Salts and the fact that no one appreciated your hard work and worthy suggestions. After reading the comments and your responses, to me, it’s obvious it isn’t worth your time and effort to be involved with Gazen Salts, especially if it is causing you stress. Good for you for taking action on a toxic situation.

    I feel what happened to the squirrel is appalling and makes me angry just thinking about it. It’s unfortunate someone who is cruel to animals is even involved with Gazen Salts. Seems crappy politics and inflated egos are becoming intolerable. more and more.

    Keep us posted on how things turn out.

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    1. Hey Eugenia,

      Yes there were a few posts in the series that were making mention to my stresses. I was working mostly in the building to just keep to myself as l worked through the ‘shit’.

      98% of the volunteers are a good bunch but that last 2% is causing issues and then 50% of the committee are serious problems.

      If it gets sorted great, if not then l will leave.

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  8. I’m sorry to hear it Rory and I hope they’ll come to their senses! People join a community to do well, especially in this case…they should focus on protecting the nature…what politics or other things have to do with it?

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    1. It’s a very difficult situation – the politics arise from the fact that the charity who runs the Gazen Salts doesn’t own the land, but the council do. This means technically the council can do what they want and so dumping dying fish into the waters there is acceptable in their eyes.

      Secondly the charity has say in this, they chose to allow the first illegal transfer of fish’ back in February in a style of you scratch my back and l’ll scratch yours’.

      But no one apparently asked the charity if they could dump the dying fish, they just did it. The vice chairman to the charity is a councillor, so he took it upon himself to give the go ahead to dump the fish in – it’s pity these sods aren’t the ones picking out the dead fish!!

      The politics is a case of cat and mouse between two organisations.

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  9. Visiting your blog for the first time.

    I think it is so important to volunteer for organisation that are aligned to our world view, otherwise it is a constant internal fight.

    I gained awareness through your post that there are more personality types than just introvert, extrovert. I personally like to hold the opinion we are all UNIQUE, and have the right to be unique. The only we as human being have no right to is, hurting another -,in my world view.

    Lovely to visit your blog. A lot people I follow take part in your challenges and it made me curious to visit your blog.

    I must say your blog is fascinating and your theme extremely bold and bight. You have pur a lot of love into your blog.

    Hope Christmas was good to you and your family

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  11. Ahhh I see … I agree with you – you can not harbor toxic so ya know … there is only so much one can handle – agreed

    I’m sorry you lost the reserve ☹️ for now … but you still are enhancing earth with your allotment

    I can not wait to watch all your stuff come to fruition 👏👏❤️ kinda exciting

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