Being Social Isn’t Easy.

Fascinating Musings
Season 1 – Friday – 24/03/23

Success isn’t measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace.

Mike Ditka

Music – Point of View

Meercat Cute Smile

Some people love being social; l have never truly enjoyed being social – over the years, l had flitted with pure adrenaline junkie-filled extroversion, mostly when l was younger, but by my mid-later thirties, this was soon becoming a thing of my past. Being social is just so time-consuming.

I used to joke about being a selectavert. It wasn’t introversion or even extroversion. I was corrected years later when someone suggested that l was an ambivert. Whatever, l still prefer selectavert because l select when l want to be social.

Being social just isn’t me, mostly because l get bored with being social. Not bored with the people; l know some wonderful people and enjoy their company immensely. But just bored with the social niceties or ness of it all.

It tires me out, and there are times when l am not quite sure what to say – although that latter phrase is more online than offline – l can see people’s faces offline in real life, but you can’t online. You can’t always know how a person is when they are writing a response. I struggle more with the cues of social behaviour online than at any other time or place. Being online and social awards me, at times, tremendous headaches. It is sometimes difficult to know if a comment is as arrogant as it looks.

Some people are naturally sociable and will not experience this. There is also a significant difference between being friendly and social; l am a very approachable guy, aloof but not unfriendly, and l enjoy engaging with people from all walks of life.

I have two designs in my Autism Redbubble collection that l have always liked since l first created them in 2013, and they are regular sellers: one is ” Being Social Is Overrated!” whilst the other reads “Less people you know, less shit you have!” These two slogans sum my personality up to a tee. Not because they are aimed at the autism market but because they are not just designed for those on the spectrum but for everyone. I have always struggled with being social online because, in many ways, l was never truly comfortable with it.

Those who have known me since l first began with WordPress years ago will know that l have always had this love-hate relationship with blogging. I love writing; l prefer writing a blog post over simply keeping a private journal, so l like to publish my written pieces, BUT l struggle with socialising the whole blogging process, which causes me stress and strain. I like to be read – we all do, so one must find the balance.

I know l am not the only writer who experiences this problem; l know l am not the only one who fights an internal conflict with this issue. I have battled it since 2017, since l first joined WordPress, and l have had good and bad years. I used to experience problems with it when l first started creating forums twenty years ago, but it was marginal as a problem back then which was because a forum post is very different to a blogged publishing.

I still maintain a blog, and l enjoy interacting with my direct community of friends, but online social blogging as an activity causes me the most significant strains. I don’t hate blogging, but there are many negatives to it. It’s something other than what I list in my top five fun things to do. Blogging would appear in my top fifteen, although my blog would appear in the top ten. I struggle with the sociality of blogging. It’s tough for me.

It’s also the age-old problem l experienced first-hand on the Guy blog and Facebook: the falseness of social media – the disconnect itself. Since l first began actual blogging six years ago, l have seen the behaviours of bloggers shift considerably more than when l first started writing on the internet in 2002. Some of the new behaviours could be more desirable.

Unlike the weather, my blogging experience is something l can control. Hence, l decided last Sunday to change things in Earthly Comforts to suit me and my passions and interests more. l briefly addressed this subject in the post Changes earlier this week. I made new decisions on this blog’s direction, which l worked on at the start of this week. All l have left is to tweak the theme, and then l’ll be done.

In brief – the changes made and introduced when combined equated to 300 plus published social calendar posts deleted, two categories, eight series and three features dropped, and the schedules changed to reflect different posting times.

The most significant change from this week for this blog has been the leaning towards a more defined niche. The original percentages for the genres within the blog on launch in August 2022 were 30% social and 70% broad niche. It changed to reflect the readership, and now it’s changed again to reflect my needs. Now it will display 10% social and 90% defined niche. This is easier for me. Socially.

Earthly Comforts will only be a popular blog with some readers. I understand and accept that completely. Very few people are as fond of composting, and worm farming as l am. Only some people are into vegetable gardening, and allotmenteering like l am.

Some readers enjoy content concerning environmental and conservation concerns. Others appreciate flora and fauna photography and a splash of inspiration and poetry – and the occasional question asking Dawdler.

On that level, Earthly Comforts will only appeal to the few who genuinely appreciate my passions and are inspired by nature with the same enthusiasm as l am. Still, this blog will also appeal to those who, like me, are less social than the rest of the world.

Published by The Autistic Composter

Earthly Comforts is a wildlife journaling scrapbook focusing on the countryside, wildlife biodiversity and environmental conservation, flora and fauna volunteering projects, gardening, composting and vermiculture, inspiration, poetry and photography.

9 thoughts on “Being Social Isn’t Easy.

  1. It makes sense to tweak your blog as often as it takes so YOU are happy/happier with it. I’ve done it, as you know, basically deleting all my “social” posts prior to April 2021. While I have resumed some, they are of a different nature from before. Anyway, I am not interested in w*rms or farming generally, but I do enjoy your lovely nature pics. So I’ll still be around a little 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Time and prioritizing how we spend it… I’ve struggled with that too. I’m prioritizing myself a lot higher than I used to.
    Take care of YOU!
    You know where to find me if you need to vent a little… or a LOT😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do indeed Grandma, admittedly l haven’t had a lot of time to write on a personal level and l owe emails left right and centre, but l’ll get there.

      Time and prioritising it is always difficult.

      I am glad however that you are taking time to prioritise you though 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s your blog to do with what you want. I agree you should go in the direction you want to. I tweak my blogs frequently – just because I want to and not to please others.

    I enjoy everything about your blog because I learn about things I didn’t know. The nature pics and photos of Sandwich are my favs. Plus, I enjoy it when you share your own poetry.

    Have a great day, Rory!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate the compliment Eugenia.

      I am working on a new poetry collection for me, but everything is about time these days.

      I have tweaked this blog quite considerably over the last week, and l will work on the colour shortly, that takes a bit more time to get it right.


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