Brutally Honest

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Music – Playground

Brutally Honest!!
 Now l have to concede to being confused!
 And if brutally honest, not amused,
 Truth be known, l am slightly baffled!
 How, in today’s modern society this still goes ahead ungrappled?
 It’s simply not on. It bloody is not!
 Enough is enough. Time for answers to be got!
 I want to know how this nonsense can happen.
 And it’s not the first time. It repeats time and time again!
 I count them in, but not back out!
 Where are my missing socks? What’s all this about?
 Washing machines are supposed to be intelligent!
 Not metal devils full of electrical sin and hell-bent,
 On destroying and kidnapping innocent fabrics!
 Perhaps there is some voodoo present, Ancient Magick?
 I have been jinxed for some years. This l cannot deny!
 But for the love of logic! Why my socks, why, why, WHY?
 Damn you, damn you to hell, it is not funny!
 By swallowing my goods, you’re making me lose money!!
 You are a machine. What do you want with them?
 Deceive me you do, irrelevant the time of day, am or pm!
 This is just plain silly; l think l might be going mad!
 That l can be turned over by a lump of metal, been had!!
 Wait a minute now, let me count, let me see,
 Twenty-two went in. Oh, my Nooooooooo, l have twenty-three!
 Oh, you rotten bloody sod! Now you are giving them back!
 And look at it. It’s bedraggled. It’s been subject to attack!
 What do you do with them? Where do they go?
 Good grief, you brute, it has no toe!
 Eeeeek, give me strength, nor has it a heel in!
 You are a terrorist. Have you no feelings?
 I give up. You are obviously seriously deranged!
 From this point on, l will make my own arrangement!
 I will hand wash them all. At least l know they will be safe!
 Instead of going through your cloth abuse and chafe!
 To be brutally honest, I will feel more secure,
 And my socks will be glad not to have to put up with more of your manure!!!

© Rory Matier 2011

Published by The Autistic Composter

Earthly Comforts is a wildlife journaling scrapbook focusing on the countryside, wildlife biodiversity and environmental conservation, flora and fauna volunteering projects, gardening, composting and vermiculture, inspiration, poetry and photography.

14 thoughts on “Brutally Honest

  1. Oh this happens every time I do laundry. At least one is AOWL! I think using a laundry mesh bag is the way forward. Nothing can extract the socks from a bag zipped shut. 🤪

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been doing laundry for over 60 years, in public, shared and private laundry facilities and I have NEVER lost a sock or anything else in the process. This whole idea that laundry equipment is at fault irks me albeit in a very small way.

    Liked by 1 person

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