| A Life Without Love is Barren? |
| Main Image – Thoughtful – Bench along Quay Walk, Sandwich |
| Millwall Walk early Friday morning before the town awakens. |
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| Ropewalk – Sobering |
| I managed to squeeze a small walk in yesterday morning, l had a busy Friday planned and needed to squeeze a lot in, however l still managed to get a quiet stroll in as well which was welcomed. But as l walked l found l was hard thinking on something that was written last week. Sadje commented last week on one of my posts that ‘a life without love is barren.’ I have been thinking about this since she said it, and whilst l had thought of posing it as a question in the morning prompt, l thought it would be simpler to dwell upon it in a diary, and if others wanted to respond with their views, they could do. I am in two minds about whether l believe this to be a fact. People can survive life and live life without love. But no one’s life is ever truly empty. I don’t think so, and yet l have known people over the years who said their lives are meaningless and empty, and they have no love! But l sometimes wonder if they mean ‘exactly that’ or if a specific person does not love them. No person should award another person meaning to their life. That person is responsible for minding the meaning of their life – their direction, point and purpose. No one else is – which then begs the question: Do we need love in our lives to have meaning? Or without it, we come back to Sadje’s statement that our life is a wasteland without love. We have everything we need to be who we need to be. So do we truly need another’s love to justify who we are? To make us and our life complete? The strange thing is, whilst working at the allotment this last week, l have been working with the raised beds and their soils and find that whilst the earth is okay, it’s not 100% terrific. Some faults and flaws have been produced by poor soil management by the last allotment plotter to 17. He failed to feed the soil on the plot for the last couple of years. He relied too heavily upon horse manure to be the mulch and didn’t use any other form of compost, according to the neighbours [who are just as guilty]. He was a dedicated digger of soil, and in so doing, he created even more problems by continually turning over the ground. The irony of his actions made me think back to Sadje’s comment that a life without love is barren, and whilst l don’t agree with that with regards to humans, l can see the effect of a life without love or TLC in the very least to the plot’s soil have made them barren of sorts. There is very little valuable micro-microbial activity within a handful of dirt. That’s sad, but l suspect that will be the case for most of the allotments where l am. I have seen 77 plots, and l can honestly say that only 10% follow a no digging strategy and adopt and adapt to more of a permaculture farming method. I find this doubly astonishing, l guess because l am so very environmentally conscious and support organic and eco-oriented methods in gardening as l think we have a duty to perform so that l will think nothing of harvesting rainfall, and yet they will rely upon a tap, they will only rely on fresh horse manure and ageing it, they only rely upon old styled digging practices. This blows me away at times, and we return to the barrenness of the soils without love from their owners. Sadje’s comment makes sense here, but l still don’t know if it matters to humans. |
| Ropewalk willows – Contemplative. |
| I hope you enjoy them and l will catch up with you again soon. Thanks for reading. |
Earthly Comforts 
Deep contemplative thoughts Rory. I think everything needs some love. Some more than others.
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Well that would make sense Sadje. As Grace says below perhaps the way is TO love and not so much a case of being loved. I think everyone needs to be able to express love to whatever and for whatever but not nrcessaily a case of an empty life without it.
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Yes, that’s true too Rory.
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“So do we truly need another’s love to justify who we are? ” No. Love goes outward. We don’t need to BE loved, we need TO love. Loving out will bring loving in. (And why would anyone have to justify their existence?) I also don’t think the word love applies to common sense maintenance of non-sentient items. We do throw words around without much thought.
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Exactly, if Pete had shown some love to the job in hand aka the soil, he would have found seriously greater and greener pastures at hand.
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I would not use the word love to describe a job or a chore or an activity. As I said we use words loosely and occasionally I remind myself NOT to do that. But it is commonplace and a generally accepted practice of which I am guilty.
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I think that because the word ‘love’ is a lively, energetic word, it’s not so much a careless throwaway use but a frequent usage for different meanings and interpretations.
I love to walk, l love being with my friends, l love writing, l love gardening and so on etc. it is different from being in love which has a much deeper process to it.
People use the word love to express various emotions today.
So as l said and meant, as my example, if Pete had loved what he was doing with the allotment soils compared to simply performing a chore of basics, then the results would have been more rewarding for him and his sowings. A lack of love for what he was doing resulted in a lack of quality.
But l wouldn’t expect him to be in love with the task 🙂
I suppose on an even deeper level. One could ask to define love and its meaning with the word love itself. I once remember reading that there were no rules with the word love. I always find it interesting, like the word fun – people also have different interpretations for that one too 🙂
But l do understand what you mean.
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Well… we all have own view of love …
I have a girlfriend who is newly single … but she wants a man… it’s just they are all morons over here – seriously
They all just wanna get in your pants and that’s it.
I tell her – don’t give them time of day – if someone wants that, they should act like an actual man not a boy.
She is learning that now. Because she has gone on few dates and they exactly like I tell her!!
If they can’t grow up – don’t give them time
But she is lonely, she want someone beside her.
She is young – still in 30’s
She is having rough time by herself – she is happy in her own self and she is confident beautiful woman…
But she misses having a man
And I can see that – they all just suck over here 🤷♀️ very immature and not worth it …
I tell her wait for someone worth it… but she NEEDS that companionship
She’s very lonely without a partner
I can understand that because it is lonely without a partner …
For me I would rather be lonely because I am not dealing with stupid shit and I am not gonna sacrifice my own mental well being over someone’s immaturity. No thank you.
If there are not any actual men or gentleman – I’m ok with that… I had the worst of the worst so … this time I want someone who wants to be there and enhances my life not tear it down
Yes I want the companionship and someone there when you home, someone to share life with
But hard to find that.
She dealing with basic boys…
She needs to learn herself – she will but will have much heartbreak and also begin to be hard like me
I’m not willing to have my mental health suffer because someone is satan or an idiot and only out for sex
Anyway… is nice to have companionship and also there is maybe a touch of Disney in there?
You want to find that love that withstands time
It can be barren even with someone if it is satan!
But it can be barren by self too.
You lucky to have Suze … think about how lonely is without, and then where to begin to find what want?
Nothing is perfect but you have to find someone who fits with you – who you enjoy.
You can have exciting life – but if really want companion sure it can be barren without love
Look at all the dating sites … and look at all the dating shows
People want companions and someone to be there for them and vice versa
I only want someone who wants to be there and is on my wave length … can fit with me and enjoy life with me. Enjoys me, and I enjoy him.
No basic boys 👎
I also want one specific thing – if can’t handle that then no.
Once again – no basic boys – not worth it.
You can be strong and powerful… but still wish to have that companionship and someone who “gets” you – some view life without that as barren
You are right to never let someone control your happiness … but what if that is their happiness
She hasn’t given herself time to know and love her ownself yet – but like I said – she is young still … and really misses to have someone
Which I totally get – but only if they worth it – most are not
You have to let life direct you towards what is meant to be
I have much love with all my friends and family ❤️ so I enjoy that
I love my life but would love more with actual love
Is just 2022 so good luck ✌️
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Well l hope she doesn’t feel the need to bounce into a new relationship with anyone just yet especially if she is newly single. She needs to give herself time just to balance and just chill.
I don’t believe in loneliness as in it isn’t a thing of hard crunch reality – BUT – l have never ever experienced loneliness even when l was by myself.
I have lived by myself without being in love or with love and it didn’t bother me, my life certainly wasn’t barren or lonely.
But l do understand that other people feel that way – l just simply don’t.
I will agree that loving someone or even loving your pets or being in love with someone can make a difference to your life but l don’t think without it your life is empty. You simply fill it in other ways. With love being so fluid as an emotion anyway – you can find other ways to express it if you need to.
I also wonder how much emotion is prompting it as well as in a person feels emotionally depleted or believes themself to be that way if they don’t have love in their life.
It is like your girlfriend – why does she feel she desperately needs a man in her life – is it for companionship only? Then get a dog. Is it for friendship? Then get out more and interact with people. Is it because she wants to lead the conventional lifestyle of starting a family and buying a house and finding a deep seated friendship that way? She’s only young and maybe still believes in the fantasy of love and there being the perfect one out there – but they don’t exist on any level. You find a good one by meeting people and getting to know them, then you have your love, lust and ageing romance especially if you stay with them, but then more importantly you have friendship and companionship and also an understanding.
But you don’t need those things to lead a healthy life if you choose not to.
Love is nice – but it isn’t a prequisite to total happiness.
I think l am more saddened by the fact that for many now we live in a world where each gender is no longer happy with the other one. Women can’t find a decent man and men can’t find a decent woman – how did that happen or have expectations risen so unrealistically dramatic that people are looking for things that simply don’t exist now?
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It used to be somewhat lonely for me… when kids were there
But then the peace was amazing … and men just 🤷♀️ I dunno ?
She absolutely has to know herself – for emotional well being she wants the companionship – it’s just she should learn first – I couldn’t stress that enough – there are some real jackasses out there
I saw something one day that say:
Women use sex to get love
And men use love to get sex
So ya know – not on same page – different era
Well expectations hmm? You can’t really carry expectations … but is important to know fit together and enjoy having in life
But expectations – hmm 🤔 … well no one gonna get my time unless they gentleman and good person, plus click with me
Otherwise nope 👎 but it’s not expectation, cause if a jackass – I definitely do not want that in my life – bye Felicia immediately! You can expect that lol
Yeah they don’t make men like they used to
Love is not prerequisite for happiness – you should already be happy with and for self. Never ever give your happiness to someone else’s control!!! Learned that lesson
And now since away – my life blooms
Now I am not willing to accept anyone who can’t enjoy life with me
But I am very critical and suspicious with it because of past… so we see
But that is definitely not what happiness is from … Know yourself first
But ya know – love can be euphoric 😘✌️
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Love can be one of the most beautiful feelings on the planet but l think we can all agree, ‘it ain’t always easy to find’
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Totally agree!
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The word love can be interpreted in so many ways, Rory, one would ask what type of love are you speaking of. It has been proven that babies cannot thrive without love – nurturing, care affection. Plants and animals also thrive when given proper care – nurturing, attention. Yes, I agree with Sadje that life is barren without love, for we all need that attention to our well being, even if it is only that of self-care and does not come from another.
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Hey Betty as l have just written in response to Grace – define love, and love has no rules. Whilst l can see what people are saying – l still don’t see a barren life for humans who have no love. They can survive perfectly well. However this is not saying that people don’t want love there is a difference.
I just personally don’t think a life becomes barren like that of a wastelands.
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As much as I agree about the use of no-till gardening/farming, there are times when a bit of air is needed to break up compacted soils, or to introduce organic matter below the top few inches. In Australia, there’s not much topsoil, but when planting trees, there’s also not much air in the soil, so (when I was farming, and planting trees anywhere) I have done some tilling and deep drilling (single, usually one-inch holes) to introduce air, water, and wet compost. The farm in Ballarat had the best orchard/trees in the district. The rest of the farm was no till, mainly because of the rocks (which kept moisture in the ground, so I called them ‘big mulch’).
Satisfaction comes from putting effort into relationships, whether with the earth, or a person. Loving what we do also helps others see joy in life.
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Hey Cage, l agree that there is at times an absolute need to break ground. Just not repeatedly. Year in year out, season in season out – however if one is to insist in/on performing this practice then feed the soils correctly, replenish top soils as best as you can, keep the microbial activity energised – not just keep taking the nutrients out of the ground with no follow up and thoughs.
Yes, loving what you do or who you are with is paramount to success.
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No, not repeatedly. Every wound needs time to heal, and it’s only the scars (compaction) that need to be released every now and then. Good practices can remove the need for it, but heavy rains/flooding, overuse of weight-bearing machinery/animals, and low levels of organic material below the top couple of centimetres may see a need for a bit of gentle brutality.
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Yes l agree with that also.
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I don’t feel life is barren without love but, to have feelings of fulfillment throughout one’s life journey, love plays a major role. Love is bigger than life, IMO, and can have a variety of related but distinct meanings depending on the experience.
“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”
― Nicholas Sparks
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Yes l agree with you also Eugenia, and the quote is right on the button.
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Thank you, Rory!
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