What if Britain’s garden gnomes suddenly came to life? A darkly comic tale of stolen tools, rebellious ornaments, missing sandwiches and gardeners discovering that compost heaps are not always safe places.
Tag Archives: Spoof
If Grass Refused to Grow
What if lawns stopped growing? A reflective and gently humorous exploration of Britain’s favourite garden feature, and what its silence might reveal about the way we think about gardens.
If One Plant Couldn’t Be Stopped
What if an ordinary creeping plant appeared in British gardens and simply couldn’t be eradicated? A speculative tale of persistence, adaptation and the moment gardeners realise nature cannot always be controlled.
If Insects Became the Size of Buses
For one impossible day, Britain’s insects become enormous: football-sized aphids, bicycle-sized bees, car-sized butterflies and beetles as big as buses. Gardening carries on regardless.
